A garrote or garrote vil (a Spanish word; alternative spellings include garotte and garrotte) is a weapon, most often referring to a handheld ligature of chain, rope, scarf, wire or fishing line used to strangle a person.
bongo bongo bongo
@mikesGItract
@Gitractofmike
Transcript
…such as it is…
[00:00:00] I already told you it's podcast night.
[00:00:32] Hey, Mike Nelson here. Hey, Mike, I don't think. OK, so it's been two weeks, like how many times we're going to have it in here, I think I think it's five.
[00:00:47] I think this time or next time we can consider that actually we started back on track, let's say the next time. OK, I'm interested to see if this one actually ever gets posted.
[00:00:59] So why? I don't know.
[00:01:01] I think we have a couple that we the about a year ago where we never actually posted it.
[00:01:06] Yeah. You know, I blame hardware on that because and that also be good for the archives. And like 20 years you had all the sites, the besides the unposted podcasts that are out there. That's good. I just also noticed that I don't have my glasses on, so I can't read. So I guess we're just really doing it on the fly.
[00:01:28] Wow. You are hamstrung then for sure. Hamstrung. And actually I've been going to physical therapy for my hamstring. This is a good one.
[00:01:36] About 20 months ago I was up at the park playing football with Ellis and Cousin Jake. Yeah. Oh, is this the one where Jake was going to race you? Yeah, I did. I already tell you about this. I think so, yeah. Like, there's no way he's going to beat me. Right. So I, I shift into I don't know, I can never tell if it's high or low gear.
[00:01:57] Low gear is acceleration. So shifting to low gear. Yeah. High gear as you're on the freeway call and ask kind of thing. Right. So and I just like kind of stretched out my stride a little bit, which is, you know, you can get some pretty quick speed. I'm a big dude, right. Yep.
[00:02:16] And I go oh and I get I feel it.
[00:02:19] So finally I get to the point where I can't keep up with my guys it at the base and we're having to do it and I'm running, I run them, you know, but they would do it without me but they would probably do it less often.
[00:02:31] But I run them every weekend and it takes like two miles to get warmed up. And it's just like every time I go up the stairs, I'm having hamstring issues. So I go to the doctor and he does an ultrasound and he's like, damn, son, you really wrecked it. And I'm like, like injured like injured it. Yeah, not not just like I was titanosaur. Yeah. No, he's like Eutaw that thing up.
[00:02:53] And I, and I was like, yeah, questionmark. And he goes yeah. I mean it's, it's pretty torn that it's not black and blue though. So when did this happen.
[00:03:04] I was like oh eighteen months ago.
[00:03:08] He's like oh have you been running on it.
[00:03:13] I'm like yeah. He goes OK, good. Because that's the only reason why you can still run on it.
[00:03:19] Oh no. So my I have both, my hamstrings are just super technically and I don't think I injured anything but like I wouldn't do a watchdog thing with with Caitlyn the other day at school and I go out to recess. Hey mister. Mr. Dave, can you dunk. I'm like, I don't think I better dunk, but, you know, running around I'm getting I can't just. Just flawed take off all at once kind of thing anymore. Right, and now I'm here two days later after hanging out with a bunch of sixth graders.
[00:03:48] So, yeah, man, I promised myself that I would do Watchdog six times this year.
[00:03:54] And how many times to do it? I'm zero right now. So it's all stacking up. I'm going to have to like a whole week in a day.
[00:04:00] Do you guys still have to do, like, the background checks and everything?
[00:04:03] Oh, yeah. That was sort of a a hindrance the last couple of years. And this year it was like not just sign up. Show up. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, the background checks, at least in our school district, last for two years. Yeah. So did ours. And then I let I let mine expire. Oh. But they just let me in this time much easier.
[00:04:23] Weird. Why. Maybe they just know you. That must be it.
[00:04:28] Yeah. So I'm in physical therapy for my hamstring and this is yesterday or the day before yesterday and I tell her, yeah, I went on a road trip and I got this cramp in my other hamstring and she starts massaging the other leg and I didn't say anything. And she's like, yeah, this thing is not as nearly as bad as it used to be. We must be doing some real good. And I look at her, it's like twenty minutes into this. Okay, so were you trying to massage the one that I told you was cramped up or the one that's actually injured?
[00:05:00] And she looks at me like, what, you're rubbing on my leg, you just keep right on going.
[00:05:06] I'm not going to stop.
[00:05:07] No, it's totally the truth, man. It's totally the truth. And she goes, no, it says in your chart, it's your it's your right one. And I'm like, no, this is how limbs and organs get taken out in surgery on accident. I know. I know, I, I just I just like kind of looked at her and she goes, how come you didn't tell me you were there for a twitch in your eye and she's rubbing on your leg.
[00:05:27] I don't know what's going on here, but I'll roll with it.
[00:05:31] And I just asked her, I was like, would you tell me? And I felt like a total jackass. But it was like, yeah, it felt that's one of those things.
[00:05:43] Like the more you say to try to make it OK, the worse it gets.
[00:05:47] Oh, man. In those situations I just try and own it. I just, I just own it big time. Like, I don't even I don't have a good example, but like for instance, I forget people's names a lot and I just there's no way around that. You can't. There's nothing to do. I don't even know how to.
[00:06:09] Ok, look, many years ago, I was a youth pastor and I had to memorize, like, hundreds of kids names. Yeah, because they take that personally. And frankly, that was part of my job. Right. And I would always go, you know, Kelly, who likes basketball? That's what I'd say in my head.
[00:06:25] And there's a point when that quit working because you ran out of there's always and they all played some form of basketball.
[00:06:34] I don't I don't even know. It was just like I just ran out of Ram.
[00:06:40] Well, RAM is volatile storage, so you need to put it in long term storage at that point. Right. Right.
[00:06:47] So I sort of mind tricks for that, though. Well, that's what I'm saying is like that was a mind trick and it worked really well for a long time.
[00:06:54] And then there was a point when I just like I sorry, I can't I can't remember. So I just tell people my name is Mike and, you know, people are like, Oh, I'm Don. Hey, Don. I just wanna let you know I will forget your name should not take it personally. In fact, I have already forgotten.
[00:07:09] I preempt it. I there's nothing there's nothing I can do. Good to meet you, Ron.
[00:07:20] Have you heard Karola with his candidate Platitude? No, man, it's so great. It's just sort of the same thing. Hey, Ron. Hey sir. Did you have a question for the candidate? Yeah, I have a question for the candidate. What's your name? My name is Ron.
[00:07:32] Wow, that's remarkable.
[00:07:33] I have a son named Ron like everything he does. So where do you stand on an issue? Well, I stand on the right side of that issue.
[00:07:41] Well, so do I.
[00:07:44] Are you for or against childhood education?
[00:07:49] I I'm for it. Right. Who would be against it? But they keep bringing up education for children. Right. Like, oh, you're for real.
[00:07:59] Well, that's been going on for years. Like we need childhood education. Like everyone's like. Yes. Whoever said no. Well OK.
[00:08:08] So I mean if you go back in history, I don't know how long ago we can go back in the in the history of our country, but kindergarten. Right. I mean, school used to start first grade and there's pretty ample research that says early childhood education is really good for children.
[00:08:26] Right. So as opposed to adults.
[00:08:34] I got I mean, that sort of proves my point, right? Like, who else would it be for? OK, so you were saying that somebody actually said no childhood education?
[00:08:43] No, I'm just saying that. How far how far are we going to go?
[00:08:46] I mean, in 25 years is going to be in utero education.
[00:08:51] Well, the whole the whole if there's music that makes you smarter, there's music that makes you dumber. Right. So you're playing Beethoven while you're in the womb kind of thing. I did not know that. Is this a thing or you keep bringing up Carol. That's one of his things, right?
[00:09:06] It's like, oh, I'll play Beethoven for my baby in my room. Right. Because it'll make him smarter, stimulates brain activity, growth. And then he says, well, if there's music that makes us smarter, then there's music and makes you dumber.
[00:09:19] Oh, that's right. This is not something that I have heard him say.
[00:09:25] And I've listened to hours of play. You're a superstar. All right. Look that up. Oh, nice.
[00:09:32] Yeah. So, well, I don't know.
[00:09:34] I guess we could end up doing in utero education. Mm. It's I don't know. There's a point I don't know with the girls that if you, if you ever noticed the point where you're like, oh they're definitely learning right now, like with Audrey she's what. Eighteen, seventy six months old now.
[00:09:52] I love it when you can see like the light go like click like oh I understand what just happened and yeah. Like when they figure out light switches and light bulbs. All right. And they're looking up and down and yes. On the computer screen is connected somehow and yeah.
[00:10:06] So we've been, we've done and I think we learn it from you guys actually I'm not really sure, but we've been doing this same time signing time, time and. Oh yeah.
[00:10:16] And and now it is it's on Netflix, by the way, which was not available when I was doing it. Right. You guys actually had to buy the disks. Right.
[00:10:26] So and then I got the disks from somebody who got the disk from somebody else and then I write them down and they're on my server room for because it's a lot more convenient than toting around. But it's time.
[00:10:40] But the signing time is, you know, you teach kids sign language and it teaches them an outlet instead of screaming, which is really great for everybody. And they can tell you what they want or what they're trying to do and stuff like that.
[00:10:52] In just two days ago, I noticed Audrey was using the same sign for a whole bunch of different things. Oh, my God, we better fire up the signing time videos. And yesterday, was it yesterday? I think it was yesterday or the day before yesterday, literally the day before yesterday. She started using all the correct signs after watching it once it all clicked in. Yeah.
[00:11:13] And you're like, well, I think it's fantastic for little kids before they could speak, they can communicate. And I had a lot of high ideals. Right. And got into more and please. And thank you so much, Tommy. So it was interesting. I remember I remember one time when the kids was like, my tummy hurts, like somehow communicate it. And then I gave up on old stuff. I found the most value in more before they could talk and thank you. Which thank you.
[00:11:40] And then some sort of like like next move, the The Career Cue or the slash. It's kind of the same thing.
[00:11:49] And so when they're like five and you see them from across the room and interacting with an adult, an adult gives them something you can catch their eye from across the room and saying thank you. And they're like, oh yeah, that's right. Thank you. And so they'll say, thank you, Mr. So-and-so. And then and then they think your kids the best. You can also like say thank you.
[00:12:07] Ah, I'm going to slit your throat so you can communicate what you expect of them. Yeah. And the violence you're going to inflict on them if they don't behave correctly.
[00:12:18] That's not even a joke man. I, I, I have people that have told me, you know, your kids are so well-behaved and I'm like, well what you don't see is that I'm on second order frickin signing time here and I can telegraph that crap from across the room. Right. And it I mean, it's exactly the same. I'm sure that and you know, the funny thing is, is Keller is almost six. Right. And I Keller's got my heart, that little kid, because he he is just like me in the sense that he's going to do whatever the heck he wants and he's going to do it when he wants and doesn't really like it when people tell him what to do. And as an adult, that's not that big a deal because most adults are like that. But as a six year old, that can be trying. But I can kind of see into his soul because it's very similar to what I experience when I was a kid. Right. And then when he gets in trouble, I can look at him and I'll be like, hey, what were you thinking, man? We got to work through this so that you understand that I'm not just trying to to trying to kick your butt here, but there's actually a reason why I'm I'm saying what I'm saying, which is, you know, we'll just use cross or running or riding his bike down the cul de sac into the street, for example. You know, hey, I've told you 100000 times not to ride your bike down the cul de sac into the street with. Outlooking, you have to have your head up, right? Do you understand the reason for that? And, you know, this always works into a process where he has to recognize that we're talking about it and then say, oh, ultimately take responsibility for his actions and say, OK, I'm sorry. But when he does that, he reverts to the sign language. Really? Yeah, you can watch him and he puts his hands up and he goes, I'm sorry, you know, on his chest like that. He's not even thinking about it totally not even thing.
[00:14:00] And it just kills me every time because I'm like, oh man, that's my two year old.
[00:14:05] My two year old is still in there. He's still yeah. There's a part of his brain that is still and that two year old will be in there till they're about 14.
[00:14:16] Ok, and it goes away. Got it. Then then the 40 year murders, the two year old you're like out of violence track today.
[00:14:27] Oh, that's awesome.
[00:14:28] I'm going to take some notes here. So signing time, I already wrote it down. I have a nine year old murder.
[00:14:35] I have her click click like I have a signing time.
[00:14:39] Ghairat, I hang out here as a violence, violence, violence. Oh, OK. I'm I'm back really fast. Typer. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Right. I don't know. I like the same time because it helps the kids communicate. It makes us that I don't want to kill them so.
[00:15:02] Well I liked it because I could communicate so I like I said, I had these really high ideals like oh they're going to learn all the stuff that in the end it was, thank you and you better do it or I'm going to get you.
[00:15:12] Yeah. And those are the two things that I still use now, right?
[00:15:16] Yeah, we do like, you know, diaper and we have all the signs for the animals and. No thank you. No thank you. You know, and stop and stop crying. And no, Audrey needs to eat, you know, and milk. Milk is always a good one. So I mean, it's. We totally watched you guys do it and then stole it from you guys, so it was it was good to. It's been good. And then, you know, I run into people that are just like, oh, that's dumb.
[00:15:45] No, no, no.
[00:15:46] And I just think the thing is, some kids get really frustrated when they can't communicate what they're what they're thinking and they don't know how to use words yet. Right. They just scream till they something randomly happens. But was it Koko the gorilla or something? Right. Yeah. They, like, knew all of the all sorts of sign language and at some point knew all these words, but then begin to combine words to to communicate concepts that had never been explicitly taught like like Tumi cry one time. I guess when I remember right. Tell me cry me my tongue. Here's my stomach hurts. I don't feel good. And so now the vet was able to like, oh, here's some gorilla pepto and or whatever they have like Pepto Enim Pepto bottle and it's got a gorilla on it.
[00:16:35] I have you ever done this like we're totally diverging here, but like I've given medications to my dog before and I don't know what happened to Manzie, but her face swelled up one time and I was like, well, let's give her some Benadryl because Benadryl is a naturally occurring substance.
[00:16:53] Yeah, it's easy to be one time old faced of all that.
[00:16:56] So you've got to, like, watch the dog like, oh, I hope the dog wakes up. Yeah. So Maji swallowed up.
[00:17:06] Yeah. So I gave her you know, she's all Oswal, she's Oswal. She's got her swollen. Do you even lift dog. You, you got to go to the gym. Don't skip a leg day. I gave her like fifty milligrams of Benadryl, which is a lot for an adult human. Yeah. And I went to the vet and the vet's like, oh yeah, you can tell. Give her Benadryl. How much did you give her? And I said, oh, I was being conservative with fifty. And she looked at me like incredulously and I didn't, I was on the line, you know, I was like, oh is that too much or is that not enough because there's like a minimum effective dose, that whole kind of thing. Right. You know, and it's like if you don't meet the minimum effective dose, you're just wasting your time and just randomly sticking your dog, your fingers down your dog's throat to jam pills down. There is not something that I like to do to waste my time. I can think of a thousand other ways to waste my time. Right. And she's like, Oh, dude, you should really call.
[00:17:56] And I'm still on the line, like, too much or too little, too much or too little.
[00:18:00] And so that has indicated so many pet. Sure.
[00:18:04] I feel like I'm on a on a choke chain. Right. Like, oh yeah. Yeah. You know, and she goes, you need to give her at least three times because otherwise I just I was like, oh no problem. You're stringing me along there. It was like, yeah.
[00:18:21] So another diversion. Have you ever.
[00:18:26] This is this is almost to too much. So when I went to Korea, I ate a lot of street food, OK, and I watched Anthony Bourdain, OK, so everybody knows from the last podcast that I went to Korea.
[00:18:41] When you do military stuff like this, they tell you don't eat the street food because you're going to get some sort of crazy parasite that will grow in your eyeballs or something. Right. And the reason they say that is because they need you to be effective in the fight, that you can't just go down with a stomach parasite for a few days. All right. If you're in a war, well, that's a that's basically a casualty. You can't count on you. Exactly. There's there's a significant reason for that. And then on the way over there, I was watching Netflix, you know, speaking of which of the the Boingo Internet or whatever it was, the other an flight. Flight. Yeah. Once you get over the Aleutian Islands and over into Russia, they're like, oh, sorry, doesn't work anymore.
[00:19:24] Anyway, let's go. It's Obongo or Boingo. Bongo Oingo Bongo's a band from the 80s.
[00:19:34] So there are some other reference for Boingo. Maybe it was the bongo trucks they have in Korea.
[00:19:39] But anyway, well, there's Boggo or Boingo or whatever. In-flight Internet. Yeah, that's Whitbourne.
[00:19:46] Go with the band and then there's bongo trucks. Yeah. Which my fingers are crossed. The Boggo trucks are hilarious because Elissa's and percussionist and band right now and the he's playing bongos for the song like some calypso song. Right. And he loves it. And every time he says Bongo's I think of the bongo trucks which are like these, they're like three quarter ton trucks. But you know, an F three fifty makes these things look like Volkswagens. They're a little tiny, like KAB over there, like a miniature o the Daihatsu.
[00:20:20] Make some of these as well.
[00:20:22] They Daihatsu might make some. And that's a Korean company. I think I saw one the other day. I want to get one of those so bad. Yeah they're well OK. So in Afghanistan they also have jack trucks which are like just trucks welded onto, you know, flatbed trucks welded onto wheels. There's no suspension or anything and it's like a four cylinder jack trucks are great flatbeds, but these Bargo trucks are like three quarter sized trucks, right? Yeah, they're like tiny.
[00:20:48] And they say Boggo right on the side of them. And every time they drive by in my head, I think of the cartoon bongo drum. You know, I can't make the Scooby Doo bongo bongo drums.
[00:21:01] Yeah. So that's that's one thing. But anyway, I'm watching Anthony Bourdain on the airplane and that dude eats anything. Yeah. He just like, look, street food's awesome and I'm just like all I can think of is like, you know.
[00:21:17] The only thing I can think of when I think street food is illnesses that are that are contracted by want or pass from one person to the next through oral fecal root.
[00:21:29] Yeah, it's messed up. It is. I mean, I know. I know. Everyone knows. Right. Everyone probably has some story.
[00:21:36] I when I was a I was in business for Xbox, I was in Japan and my traveling partner who was his parents were Japanese born.
[00:21:46] And then he used he was raised in America but didn't speak a lick of Japanese. Anyways, he had street food in Tokyo. Oh, yeah. And then we went back to the hotel. He went to his room. I went to my like, hey, this meeting tomorrow is going to go to some jazz club. And I came knocked on his door. No answer. I knocked for like 15, 20 minutes. No answer. I that well he must it just took off or something. So I went he got sicker than sick really and passed out on his bed for like eight hours.
[00:22:14] Really. Yeah. That fast.
[00:22:16] Yeah. He was, he was sick as a dog and then stating I had this brilliant idea she went to India. So we've all been in like some third world like. Oh yeah. You're saying it's like in Honduras.
[00:22:31] I was in in Panama places they have street shit. Yes, I Stacy Harris was over in India and they're like, you have to not drink the water, don't you.
[00:22:41] Not even ice cubes. I mean we've all been there kind of thing. Right. And she got sick over there because some water somehow got mixed into whatever. Anyways we were thinking what if we started a company that bottles water like locally sourced water from all these places?
[00:22:57] Are you going to travel so like you can get some some bottled water from Tegucigalpa and Honduras and it's got all the natural drink it two weeks before you go on your trip, get all sick in the safety and the comfort of your own home, and then go down there and be fine.
[00:23:14] Yeah, dude, that's brilliant. That's totally brilliant. Like, get the sick part out of the way where your home comfortable.
[00:23:26] I yeah, so that would be awesome, because being sick, like legitimately sick somewhere where where you're not home is the worst thing ever, ever. It is the worst thing. So I've been eating a bunch street food. I've been having like some lower intestinal discomfort. Right.
[00:23:44] And I'm like, all right. I got home and I got to go to now or in Korea. No, no. Here. Oh, after the Korea trip. And, you know, this is where I have to go into all the gory details. But but basically, I went to the doctor, a Twitter Twitter handle my pandemic's GI tract. So I go to the doctor and I'm like, hey, he's like, how's that Hammie treating you? I'm like, yeah, not so great. Like and he goes, okay, well, making another follow, I'm like, hold on, don't leave.
[00:24:16] And he goes, Huh. Oh you see the look on his face and he grabs a pen and paper and sits down and he does the psychologist thing like swirls around in his chair and he goes, What can I do for you. Crosses his leg. Yeah. And this guy, he's really funny.
[00:24:31] He's he like wanted to talk about his messy divorce with me last time I was there.
[00:24:35] I don't know if he sees me as like a he's a little bit older than me. But, you know, I'm sure that he doesn't see me as a peer because I'm not a physician, but somebody that would at least listen to him.
[00:24:48] It was funny in a captive audience.
[00:24:50] I mean. Well, yeah.
[00:24:51] And then I told him that my wife was a doctor and he's like, listen, let me give you some advice.
[00:24:55] And I was like, OK, you're so great. But anyway, I'm sitting there and he goes, What? And I'm like, hey, listen, I got some lower GI issues going on. And and he goes, Mm hmm. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I went to Korea. It's sort of a cute but it's not really a cute sort of embarrassing, to be honest with you.
[00:25:16] And I mean, it creates a lot of urgency sometimes and sometimes there's no urgency at all.
[00:25:22] And it's like writing this down, OK, the biggest humiliation thing I've ever experienced in my life is having him go, OK, so colonoscopy. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second. I mean, today. Yeah, right. And he goes, we could probably just do a stool sample before that. And I'm like, OK, so he hands me the whole bag thing. That's not even the hard part. The hard part is taking said stool sample back to the doctor's office. I literally have a bag of shit telling us it's a nontransparent it. Well, they gave me a transparent bag and I got my my Trader Joe's wine back and cut the top off of it because it was a paper bag.
[00:26:11] And I walk in there and I'm standing in line. I'm friggin standing in line with this bag. Right.
[00:26:17] And it's in a sterile cup and it's like triple sealed and all that shit. Right. I got to watch my leg. We're sorry, but it's triple, triple sealed and everything, but it's transparent, right? So I put it in a paper bag and I walk up to the lady and she's on the phone and she's like, Can I help you? And I can hear the other person talking on the phone. And I go, Yeah, I've got a I've got a lab sample for you.
[00:26:38] And she goes, Oh, OK. And she grabs it from me like this and she opens the bag.
[00:26:45] There's like ten people in line and I just go like that. I just, I just look at her like and I stick my finger out and she goes, yes, I'll be with you in a minute. Right. And she pulls it out and looks at it and goes and I go, you know, I just kind of point my finger at her.
[00:27:04] I know everybody can't see this, but I kind of play with my finger at her and I just my face is red. I can feel it. And she puts it back in and goes, Oh, thank you. Thanks. I appreciate that. That's on her. She's Financial Wheel Podcast. I'm like, can you just give me five seconds of your time, please, so that I can say I've got a bag of shit here.
[00:27:21] You probably don't want to open it up in front of everybody. It's clean. Trust me, I did this very cleanly, but I literally walked up to you and handed you a bag of my own feces over the counter and you pulled it out in front of everyone.
[00:27:35] Well, this is from a friend.
[00:27:39] Does seem like it sounded better. I don't know. Oh, dude, I you know, and the thing is, is like I can remember when I was a paramedic, I can remember just being in situations where I have to ask people that's just insane questions like, you know, in front of a thirteen year old in front of her dad.
[00:27:55] Is there any chance you could be pregnant?
[00:27:57] Right. And look at that and looking at me and going and having the dad step in and go, oh, no, no, no, no.
[00:28:05] Absolutely not. No, no. And then the answer, I need you to leave.
[00:28:09] But there's I don't think there's any like, you know, I guess I feel like it made me feel really old because there's a point when you just don't even care anymore. There's no shame. You're like, yep, he's got to do a test on my poop so that he makes sure that I don't have some sort of permanent intestinal virus that I picked up on the streets of Korea. Right. Or perhaps the virus was still there for when I ate frickin un rendered goat fat when I was in Afghanistan. It gives a whole different meaning to locally sourced goat milk. Gosh, you know, he's got to test it and you have to get beyond yourself in order to let him do that. And you got to deal with the 17 year old that's working the counter at the doctor's office. He wants to literally stick her hand in a paper bag. When you say it's a lab sample, I didn't know what to do with the needles.
[00:29:03] Oh, my gosh. They're they're just I'm glad that we can laugh about it because it was, like, moderately humiliating. I mean, I've only been more embarrassed about a couple of things in my life besides that. And I just like literally looking at this.
[00:29:17] You can see it going in. You could see it like you can tell. I mean, it's like this isn't going to be good at all. You walk in there and there's people in line. She's on the phone trying to process people at the same time, you know, and you just kind of have that sense. Like the first thing she's going to do is you could see it coming a mile away.
[00:29:35] It was gravity. And you couldn't stop that train.
[00:29:39] Yeah. And I'm they're like like, OK. I mean, you literally.
[00:29:48] It may just be me, I don't know if it's just me, but you have to muster a lot of internal fortitude just to be like, I'm going to do this because I'm tired of not feeling good right now.
[00:29:58] Some things like it's just being human, everyone does. You know, everyone's going to. But I know what you mean. Like walking a dog. I don't know how people get to the dog poop bag.
[00:30:08] I grab a bunch, stick it in there, tie it off right. And stick it like on their belt loop and they're walking down. This is going to bunk down on the side of the ladies are walking like, oh, it's totally gross.
[00:30:20] It's totally gross.
[00:30:22] You know, I, I the dog poop thing is actually funny because you like, walk up to people that are walking their dogs and I don't know, I feel like it's almost to the point where it's become a status symbol, like, yes, I pick up my dog's poop.
[00:30:36] You know, you know what I mean, like I know very well we were talking about this the other day, is like 20 years ago or 30 years ago. Is anybody doing that? I'm dogs roam free in the neighborhood around here.
[00:30:47] Right? Right. And actually, some of the rules at the park across the street are that you can't have dogs up there, but the park just down the road, you can have a dog in it. They provide bags. I'm like, if I could go up to the park and run my dog, I would I would gladly pay for 10 years worth of bags. 10 years worth. Yeah, because the deal that in the park, because I don't have to deal with it in the park and I don't have to remember to bring my own bio bag for the dog poop, you know. You know what I'm saying. Yeah. So there is this guy that I work with. His name is Rich Gockley.
[00:31:18] He used to be a BE1 driver, which is a really awesome airplane.
[00:31:25] It's a really awesome 1980s airplane. I should I should tell you that, which means that it's really fast and really expensive. But anyway, he he has a dog and he created some sort of doggy septic system. And we are talking about this in April of 2014 or was it April of last year? It was April of last year. I was down in Las Vegas, I think, and for some military training.
[00:31:50] And he was like, oh, yeah, I dug this hole and I put some rocks in it. And this and the other thing. And then I put some of this stuff that you put in septic tanks and every time the dog takes a dump, I just go flip the lid on this thing and it's in the ground. It's a doggy septic field, you know. And he just emailed me just the other day. He said the doggy septic field tank failed. And I was like, oh, that doesn't sound good.
[00:32:12] He goes, you have to pay back all of his, like, crowdsourced funding or anything like that, though.
[00:32:17] Dude, he created it in the ground. The point is, is that he had to scoop it out.
[00:32:24] God, it's like those are like the nightmare starts like flipping houses and stuff.
[00:32:31] Yeah. Oh. Like having to do a new septic tank or something like that. Yeah.
[00:32:37] All right. So I got a I just created a Twitter handle for you. I always get confused when you set it up and you give the name and the actual handle that you want. But the name is at Mike's GI tract. I think the official one is at GI Tract of Mike. So OK, OK, so I'll have to give you the password and you can give everyone updates. Everybody can follow. Would be awesome.
[00:32:59] Ok, that sounds good. I'll, I'll definitely keep you guys up to date on what's going on with my GI tract. I'm part of me is like I hope it's nothing, you know.
[00:33:11] Well the other thing we all do well and then the other thing is, is like if it's some sort of parasite, I hope it's.
[00:33:18] I hope that it's it's not a parasite, but I hope that it's like, oh my gosh, and it's an easy fix, right? And then if it's not a parasite and it's just some sort of natural thing, I'm just going to delete the account like it's sort of long.
[00:33:35] It's the GI tract version of Sorry, dude, you got to wear glasses. You're just getting old.
[00:33:39] Seriously? No, I mean, you won't be able to have, like, these little micro machines that you put in your in your body.
[00:33:45] You'll have like a USB or a Bluetooth connection and you could just connect it to the Twitter machine, OK?
[00:33:53] Yeah, that makes sense.
[00:33:54] Speaking of Twitter, I remember we talked a few months ago about on the Barney Miller episode about Abe Vigoda. Yes. Right. And how he had all the false death threats.
[00:34:07] And then he died like like two weeks after that in December or something like that, he died. Well, I found there's a Twitter handle. It's I can't remember what it's called.
[00:34:16] It's like Abe Vigoda Deathwatch or something like that.
[00:34:22] And for months, somebody set this up and every day they tweet still not dead. I'm around. Sure it's still alive with it.
[00:34:31] And then the day dies. The tweet is dead and that's it. Are you serious? Yes. You got to you got to find that because I think it's funny how people they sort of like highjacker all the parody accounts.
[00:34:45] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:34:48] I sort of tangentially related. Is this whole like I think it's Iran or. Syria, some one of those countries has been trying to get Germany to discipline one of their one of their journalists for making fun of the of the maybe it's Saudi Arabia for making fun of the big boss. Saudi Arabia, I think so, I think and I'm going to have to look this up and I'll post it on the on the thing, but I think just in a summary of this is basically Germany is a first world country that has first world values. Right. Or freedom values, I should say. And one of those values in those first world countries is freedom of the press, because the the press is a balancing point against all of the ridiculous B.S. that we have to wade through with the government. Right. And occasionally, if it's not MSNBC or CNN or FOX News or something like that, you get good press like Christian Science Monitor. They're quite good. Also, NPR, even though they're a little bit left leaning, they're quite good also. Right. And they have a tendency to kind of isolate themselves from all the ridiculous money.
[00:36:01] Well, this dude in Germany, I don't remember what he works for and I'll see if I can find them. Find the article basically said, hey, the head cheese in Saudi Arabia is an idiot. And the the ambassador in Germany from Saudi Arabia went and talked to the, I don't know, Angela Merkel or whatever and said, hey, you guys really need to prosecute that guy for calling our head cheese. The idiot in Germany is like, yeah, I don't think you quite understand. It doesn't work that way here. We don't prosecute people in the press for defaming people that are elected in our government nor any other government in the world. So you guys can suck it. Have you haven't seen this at all? No, it really is. It's a it's a foundational difference, a pretty good aspect to look at when you're like, OK, what's the difference between these countries that that have this track and the countries that we typically would go visit or live in? And they're like, no, absolutely not.
[00:37:03] Yeah, no.
[00:37:04] I think that's probably the number one thing that is awesome about America is that you can say whoever is president is a complete idiot and a clown and a fool, and you're not going to get shot and hold off this thing.
[00:37:17] Yeah, that's you don't have to worry about it. Yeah.
[00:37:19] And you can even like like in my case, you can even tell people that work for places like good to go that they're total clowns also to go, oh man that's terrible.
[00:37:31] Oh back.
[00:37:35] I said that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So what are you got on tap. Anything. Anything coming up up front.
[00:37:42] We're going to going to Florida.
[00:37:44] Oh well there Stacy's nieces at a cheerleading competition out there. So from Australia. She's from Australia, right. Stacey Anthony's. Yeah.
[00:37:55] And they're having like a worldwide cheerleading competition in Daytona Beach, Florida.
[00:38:02] So when I got there visit and probably go to Space Center, Kennedy Space Center while we're out there, super jealous.
[00:38:08] Yeah. Should be good. And we're flying Delta first class this time. What, it was only like fifty dollars extra. So like. Yeah why not.
[00:38:17] Ok, so Holly and I are going to Hawaii in about four weeks. Three weeks for two weeks. Right. Like eleven days. Yeah. Oh man. I've never been to Hawaii, I've flown over Hawaii but I've never been there. And Holly, a couple of years ago we well a few years ago now, probably six or seven years ago, Holly was in the Air Force and we had the opportunity to do the space stuff. This is just me being an idiot. She's like, get on the number 27 plane of the space.
[00:38:46] This is the you can hop on a military cargo plane. If I got extra seats.
[00:38:51] Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, OK, but it looked like the number twenty seven plane was going to be full of what they call depend or depend upon mimesis, which is terrible because at the time I was a dependent, dependent on our dependents of military members and they have a tendency to be somewhat self entitled and annoying and stuff like that. But that's OK. So I was like, oh, I'll get on the number twenty four in these.
[00:39:17] These numbers are fictitious, but I don't remember the specifics, so. Yeah.
[00:39:24] And she texted me again, I'm on the number twenty seven get on the number twenty seven and I'm like the number twenty first going to the same place. I'll meet you there. Right. And she flies off in the number twenty seven. Right. And I go out on the flight line to get on the number twenty four, the loadmaster there and he looks at me and goes What are you doing. I'm like I'm going to Hawaii with you guys. He's like, are you in the military. I was like, yeah. He goes, Well you don't look like you're in the military. And I said, Well, I mean, I'm in a civilian status. He goes, If you're in civilian service, you can't fly on this plane.
[00:39:56] I'm like, the people down at the PAX terminal said I could fly. And he's like, do there's nuclear weapons on this plane? You can't fly on this plane. I was like, oh, crap. So No.
[00:40:06] One, I didn't listen to Holly. And she went and spent the weekend in freakin Honolulu and I went back home.
[00:40:13] Back to Tacoma, yeah, Eurema Tacoma, so my question is, is that is there any difference in international cheerleading than there would be in regular?
[00:40:24] Yeah, they go by Cambridge rules versus which is the more internationally recognized guidelines you got?
[00:40:33] I have no idea. I, I've, I've just just wild guess we could probably divide. I don't know if there's probably divide it up in Western guidelines versus non Western guidelines.
[00:40:49] Right. OK, ok.
[00:40:52] Oh as far as dress I don't know. Maybe there's the Saudi Arabian team and their sweat pants and their habits.
[00:41:02] Apparently the Saudi Arabian team is made it by the same people for the last 47 years. But nobody can.
[00:41:08] We have no way to verify and we're not checking. We thought we might say something like those rules are dumb, but then we decided not to because.
[00:41:17] Right. Yeah. So OK. So I have to say this. Canadians are like salt of the Earth type people. They'll always say, I'm sorry, I've actually worked with Canadian forces before. Great, great people. I've also run into them like that's just a stereotype. It totally is a stereotype. But what I'm getting at is my experience with Stacey, who is Australian, is that she is also salt of the Earth type people and pretty darn cool and chill. What is the typical Australian stereotype?
[00:41:53] Oh, man, I'm wading into waters here, man. I don't know. I think a super broad generalization would be Australians are fairly laidback about things like don't get too worked up about stuff. OK, I have a saying.
[00:42:12] I'm not even try the accent, but it's going to be all right.
[00:42:17] Right. Like, don't worry, he's going to be all right. Like, it's going to be not a big deal if something bad's going on. They like to swear some of them frequently, so I don't know, particularly back to the long run, I guess I, I would say that my experience probably probably would validate that when I was in Korea, I was at a bar.
[00:42:41] With this guy and he was Australian and I bought him a couple of beers, we sat and chatted for a couple hours and I had no idea who he was. He was just another guy in the military there because we were all in the military there. And the next day I'm sitting at my desk and this guy walks in and somebody calls the room to attention. And he's like the fleet admiral for all naval forces in Australia.
[00:43:03] And I look at him and he goes, Hey, mate, I was like, oh, that guy.
[00:43:10] That guy is the guy that I was drinking with last night.
[00:43:13] I think it's funny to talk about, like, well, what would be what would like what is the stereotype? And it's like, well, maybe they saw that. But who's really swears more than anybody else when you start looking at stuff. But it's funny how things like that stick, right?
[00:43:30] It well, I mean, honestly, the Irish and the Australians probably swear more than anybody.
[00:43:35] Well, Danna Redmond a baseball game today. This this guy behind us, just just a matter of course, just every every other word was some form of a swear word.
[00:43:43] You went to a baseball game? Yeah, we went to opening night. Mariners lost. Yeah. That's what I heard it actually that was a drop where I said mariners lost and we just drop that in after every time we talk about the Mariners. Mariners lost. Oh, yeah. But just like I guess you go anywhere and people are laid back and people are swear a lot people are gracious. But it is funny that when you run across it and it's tagged on to a Canadian and they say sorry, like, oh yeah.
[00:44:17] Because you guys who say sorry.
[00:44:20] Yeah, but they do they say it more than everybody else I think probably.
[00:44:23] Maybe yeah. I don't know. Mom's Canadian. Well she's not. Well I don't know what you would call her now, but I don't think she says that a lot, but it's probably wore off a little bit. Well she's Canadian, right. But she doesn't say sorry. No, she's the one that taught me the best.
[00:44:42] Next thing you know what she taught me.
[00:44:45] But when we old wonder, oh, she's lated scratch in the Honda out front of the Jarvis's. Now you're from England, right? Right. Oh, God. A very Commonwealth thing going on here. We got the Australians, OK, sometimes the the English.
[00:44:59] Maybe that's what it is. It's the Commonwealth. Is that what they call it is all those colonial English.
[00:45:06] Yeah. They still got the queen on the money. That's the that's the bit. And then so I find myself in all of these groups of Canadians, English people, Irish people, Australians, Indians.
[00:45:18] I have frequently. Yes. Are they considered Commonwealth?
[00:45:24] I don't know. I mean, I know the they asked the the English to leave, but there's still a lot of British, there's still a lot of influence from the British rule period of their history. I don't know. Yes.
[00:45:38] The English to leave also.
[00:45:41] Yeah.
[00:45:42] Quite, quite well I imagine I'm pretty sure that they don't consider us a member of the Commonwealth or they would just consider a bunch of noise when the Commonwealth Games happened.
[00:45:52] There's all sorts of stuff that happens in India, so I'm looking it up right now. OK, do do they do though, the whole Karatas thing. The what? Thom like the cable to us. I don't know if that is OK. It's like throwing of a log.
[00:46:09] Oh, you mean where the pole or they flip it up in the air? Yeah, now, ok, OK, hang on.
[00:46:16] Commonwealth Commonwealth original members were the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Ireland, Newfoundland, although Australia and New Zealand did adopt the statue until 42 and 47. Respectfully.
[00:46:33] Huh. OK, that makes sense. Yeah. Current members in England.
[00:46:43] Well that would be that would be par for the course. Right. Like right. England's not actually in the Commonwealth. Sort of like the the euro. Right. Like yeah that'd be great. But not, not actually adopted. India is in the Commonwealth, OK.
[00:46:57] Actually that whole, the whole euro, English, Iceland, UK, Ireland, Scotland. Business is pretty confusing to me.
[00:47:06] There's the United Kingdom. There's England or what's the third one? Because the flag, the Union Jack is made up of England, which is the red and white with just a cross.
[00:47:17] There's the United Kingdom and Great Britain. OK, I think Great Britain includes like Wales or some other. But these are like counties, right? That's like how big they are, right? Well, comparative in size wise. Yes. OK, OK, so the United Kingdom is part of the Commonwealth.
[00:47:38] Man, see, I thought they were in charge.
[00:47:39] We should get one of these commonwealth to come over here and explain all this to us.
[00:47:44] We should. Let's do that. We'll put it on the schedule. We'll also do that and the rules of that game they play.
[00:47:51] Which one, cricket?
[00:47:53] Yeah, I tried to have Morris Jarvis explain the rules of cricket to me one time, and he's a he's a he's a British expat and he couldn't do it. He just looked at me and goes, I.
[00:48:06] I watch cricket all the time. And there's no way that I could tell you what the rules are. It's the most insane game you've ever seen.
[00:48:13] Yeah, there's cricket. I started figuring out one time and then I stopped trying to figure it out. So does Stacy know more or less, I think.
[00:48:23] Ok, OK. And then there's curling up in Canada. Yeah, I think that's fantastic. And actually Mom actually knows about that. There was a guy a few months ago I was watching. There's some big whether the Olympics or something, I don't know. So there's a big thing, maybe the Olympics.
[00:48:40] One of those things there was a severe curling injury and this guy slipped and faceplant around on the ice.
[00:48:47] Oh, man.
[00:48:49] I never thought you could get her curling, but yeah, that's cool. OK, so how are we going to be in Florida? I don't know, three or four days coming back on Tuesday. So Thursday. Well, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. About five days. Yeah, that's cool. And first class is awesome, man. Yeah, I hope so.
[00:49:08] You know, I was telling you that Holly and I are going to Hawaii. Oh. Oh my gosh. It's the biggest loop. I never finished. And we were like, oh, look at these. These tickets are a lot less than I thought we were going to pay. Right.
[00:49:20] And then and then it's like 150 million upgrade to get first class on Alaska. And it's actual first class, too, so. Oh, no. Business class, first class. No, I think it's actually got the whole, like, leather chair in the free champagne, so what island you go to? We're going to Oahu initially so that we can go to Pearl Harbor before they close that all up. They're going to close it. Well, I'm not sure there's kind of rumors that the USS Arizona is going to. They need to clean it up because it's leaking. I thought I've been leaking like it drips oil up right constantly since the Becky Monk, and I have no no way to validate this, but I've heard that they're going to change the way that whole thing works.
[00:50:02] So we we really want to go to OK, well, we're going to this condo on canal. Right. And but we're like, hey, we want to go to Pearl Harbor. So let's just fly into Oahu and then we'll just take Interisland transport or whatever. Well, there's no real like inner island transport. It's called Hawaiian Airlines. And it's not not cheap. So we sort of save money by going to Oahu and then, um, save the money by having to fly from Oahu to Kona.
[00:50:33] So save it and spend it right. Yeah. And save and spend the two are related in some way.
[00:50:43] So we're actually expecting to have a pretty good time. And then in the military, you can use this thing called it, which is information, tickets and tours. And they they give you a pretty big discount.
[00:50:52] So we got to look out. I don't know if those things are fun or not, but I like eating pigs. So we'll go to the luau and then we're going to go to Pearl Harbor and see the Arizona USS Arizona. And I guess I haven't been there. So I guess it's a big whole thing. It's a thing.
[00:51:13] Yeah, it was cool. I went one time and I enjoyed it. I thought it was a really great visit. Super interesting to see all of that right there. Yeah. And then I climbed Diamondhead, the volcano. I don't know if it's extinct or dormant right there on the on the beach there. Huh. That's a good view if your hamstrings are up for it. Yeah.
[00:51:33] There's a few steps you got to climb, but well, you know, it only takes me about two miles to get warmed up. So I think it should be OK. Yeah. So and then we're going to go to a condo in Kona and it's the same one that mom and dad stand and they're like, oh, that's great.
[00:51:50] I mean, it's a half a mile from from town and you can take the four wheel drive down to the beach or whatever. And and I was like, well it sounds, it sounds a lot cheaper than going to, you know, some huge resort.
[00:52:04] And you get about the same experience. So we're going to go hang out on the beach for eight days.
[00:52:11] Well, that sounds like a lot of fun. I love to go to Hawaii right now. And we went a year ago. I like to go back. Well, you go to Florida, you don't have any time to hang out in Florida. Well, I don't know if I'm going to. I don't know. Yeah, we're going to have plenty of time to hang out.
[00:52:25] I've been in Florida for a long time, so it should be interesting to go back, take your play game of Germany or Florida and read headlines and see how that works out.
[00:52:33] We totally should take your your own shell. As I recall it, it's raining about an hour a day there.
[00:52:40] All right. Yeah. Noted Greensill range. Click, click, click. You got it. Perfect.
[00:52:49] So, well, was there anything that we were going to talk about from the last podcast?
[00:52:53] Now, I was just and we got diers on ice. Well, that guy who did the video got back. James. Yeah. Give pointers to a better video, which I picked up there.
[00:53:03] And then we will we also talk about the aircraft carrier going into Haiti and plugging in after the earthquake. Yeah, I don't know. I posted on that post one of the things I came up with, there's an aircraft carrier that they plugged in to Tacoma, Washington, the USS Lexington. Where did they do this? 1930. Oh, so this is this is pre nuclear aircraft carrier, but provided electricity to the sea for 30 days. I had no idea there was a drought and there wasn't enough water, water to provide electricity. So they just drove an aircraft carrier in there and plugged it in.
[00:53:41] So, you know, on Reddit, I had a conversation with somebody. Somebody is looking for some way to, like, filter water in Flint, Michigan. Yeah. And I was just like, well, you should look at what a rope you is, are you? And it's a reverse osmosis purification unit, which is a water military grade water filter.
[00:54:00] And it's really robust in the sense that it will filter out even chemical warfare agents out of water so that you can drink it. Jeez. But it what the result of it is, is that you get pure H2O and there's no minerals in it. So Merry's are designed to filter to provide you with all of the daily requirements to eat one package of Embry's. It's about 2000 to 3000. It depends on what color you get. There's two colors. There's the brown bag and then there's the green bag. The brown bag is normal. Operations in the green bag is Arctic weather operations.
[00:54:34] And it's like one of them is, I don't know, 3000 calories and the other one's like 10000 calories. I've only seen the green bag ones a couple of times because they're kind of expensive, but they're designed to be used with water that came through a rope unit. And so they have a whole bunch of extra minerals and stuff in it, but if you just drink the straight rope, you water it, it just it keeps you hydrated, but it doesn't replace any of the minerals and electrolytes that you need. So you be like well hydrated and everything like that. But you your hamstrings cramp up and you get like massive headaches and stuff like that. But this guy on Reddit was, hey, does anybody know of any way to, you know, filter water for Flint genius?
[00:55:17] Like, it's totally the truth. It's like that all the time. I read it.
[00:55:22] Hey, does anybody know how to build a house or stick to this idea to have a structure that protected you from them, elements that you could live in has heaters in it. It is not a color code beggs poo because.
[00:55:39] They should literally have a brown bag coat cold by Alan Goldberg.
[00:55:44] Yeah, like if you come in with a brown bag into the doctor's office, they should know be like, I think this is a bag of poop anyway.
[00:55:54] And I just gave this guy one liner and said, hey, you should look up a rope, you know, and he's like, what's a rope? You. So I gave him the wiki article on it and then realized, well, you know, Michigan is Michigan.
[00:56:04] They could probably just park an aircraft carrier on the Great Lakes and just pump some water into there.
[00:56:08] Well, why not?
[00:56:10] It's not like you can't get that stuff in there. I mean, you just go to Erie Canal, right? Yeah.
[00:56:15] You just go through the Erie Canal and then put an aircraft carrier in there and just I don't know you and I cannot be the first person, the first persons to have thought of that.
[00:56:24] No, no, I. I don't I don't think that we are anyway. It seems like a big problem will be dated. We could certainly claim it if they do it. So it's right.